Why I Hate Kitties and Other Stuff

I hate cats. Well, no, actually, I like cats, it’s just that I’m allergic to cats. I have owned cats before too… But I tried to never touch them. If I touched them and put my hands near my eyes, I’d break out. Cats have something that makes my eyes itchy.

The only thing in the world I am allergic to are cats. Ewww!

But now, today, I can actually say I honestly hate cats. I mean, I hate Russian cats. I’m so glad that the World Whatchamacallum’s have banned Russian cats from all world competitions. Well, done, guys!

That’ll teach those Russian cats to not back that horrible dictator Voldemort Putin from invading a sovereign country. He can’t do that!

Only the United States can do that!

And the next thing that pisses me off is the banning of Tchaikovsky. No matter that the dude died about 100 years ago… He is still a Russian and as the old saying goes, “Once a Red, always a Red!” No more will “Swan Lake” or the “Nutcracker Suite” be corrupting our children’s mind’s in school! They should be learning proper American music like “Your Cheatin’ Heart” or “Blitzkrieg Bop!”

But why stop at Tchaikovsky? Or how about Rachmaninoff? What about Stravinsky? In many ways Stravinsky is even worse than Tchaikovsky. He invented the violin fer chrissakes! Days after day, in schools all over the world, this Soviet’s invention has been instrumental in turning our children into Putin-bots.

This should stop now!

What? How’s that? Stravinsky didn’t invent the violin? Well, don’t confuse me with small details or facts.

The only good Red is a dead red.

And speaking about Reds. I think that all professional sports teams the world over should join the clarion call to ban the word “Red” from their names.

The top two I can think of are the American baseball team, the Cincinnati Reds and the soccer team from England, the Liverpool F.C. or cordially known as the Reds! But there are so many others!

What kind of message are these people sending to our kids when they cheer the Reds? What were these people thinking about when they came up with such a name?

Ban them all and, if they fight for their names, give them a hellacious fine to teach them a lesson!

Well, that’s it for now. I’m going back to my Social Media and posting a blue & white banner to show how much I care for those brave and valiant people! First I’m going to put a white and blue circle around my avatar on Facebook, then Twitter, then Instagram, and then Tiktok to show how much I care and to show I stand united with them against the forces of evil and darkness!

Sure, I’ll take some blowback from some people, but I don’t care because I have morals! I don’t care because I deeply care about the people of where ever is being invaded!

Yes, yes, some people might poo-poo my ideas, and say silly things like, “What about Syria, Afghanistan, Libya, Somalia, Honduras, Haiti, Venezuela, Ecuador, etc…” But in some senses, it’s the usual gang of dead-enders

…And they all actually LIKE cats!

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