A professor teaching a class called Political Capture (PC) at Los Gatos State College in Silicon Valley, California had a 78-year-old former president of a foreign banana republic, as a student in his class who was running for a second term, named Mugwump (meaning a politician who sits on the fence or a wheeler dealer). Mugwump had come to the Estados Unidos to study how not to be politically captured as he was during his first term in office. Mugwump kept rubbing his ear and trying to keep it from bleeding. The professor asked the older student what was wrong? Mugwump told the professor he had been grazed in the ear by a bullet while speaking at a rally of his pig political fan club in his country before coming to the States two days prior. The professor asked him to explain his experience in terms of political capture theory.
Mugwump returned the professor’s question with another question: “do you know how to capture a legion of wild pigs? The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punchline. But Mugwump said it was no joke. “You catch a legion of wild pigs by first locking them out of their natural habitats and food sources. Then you create a potrero pig pen and put GMO antibiotic-laced maize (corn) on the ground to eat for the pigs. The pigs find it and start coming every day for the free lunch. Once they are comfortable with coming you erect a fence down one side. Once they get used to that you put a fence on a second side. Then you put up an open gate and wait until the feral pigs once again become accustomed to eating at the same setting. Suddenly, you slam the gate shut and declare an emergency Porcine Virus lockdown. The pigs go crazy because they realize they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the antibiotic laced corn, some accept their captivity, and some forget how to forage for food. Some pigs learn they can get out of the pig pen if they get an incubation shot in the leg but that risked a chance of dying and the loss of their swinish souls. Eventually, the legion of pigs got crazed by a multitude of demons that had cast a spell on them and rushed to the sea and were drowned for there was no freedom inside the fence.
The professor ventured that there was a moral to Mugwump’s story: Communism is always a fake revolution from below that puts a tyrant in power that always eventually fails but unfortunately Corporate Fascism works, but to the demise or slavery of the working and independent class of pigs.
The professor asks why the pigs didn’t realize beforehand they were slowly being captured? Mugwump said the pigs were promised a Communist worker’s paradise of owning nothing and everything else would be free. But it was a trick, and it wasn’t Communism but the lowest caste of Pigdom and genocidal Fascism at a place called Orwell’s Animal Farm, or as a death statistic in a contrived Porcine Virus Pandemic.
Mugwump said if he had realized beforehand that his legion of pigs was going to be slaughtered by government policy and replaced by artificial pork meat grown by high tech Artificial Intelligence (AI), that he would never have allowed them to be captured. But by the time Mugwump realized what was happening it was too late to save the pigs, and his own life was also recently imperiled. So, he decided to take a graduate course in political capture this time so that he would not end up a wounded, broken, and once again a fooled man (first fooled by COVID lockdowns; twice fooled by shot mandates; third time for capture by the high-tech corporate fascist criminal class).
The professor asked Mugwump who he had picked for his Vice President and who his donors were? Mugwump explained he had picked a former Silicon Valley investment firm manager who was currently a senator from the state of Oceania, whose citizens only knew what their party and TV wanted them to know. And his donors were from the high-tech oligarch class that had ironically funded the destruction of his working-class supporters by PLM (Pigs Lives Matter) and Intifada (a militant battalion of paid rioters and arsonists).
The professor cited the speech of Caius Memmius, Tribune of the Roman Plebians in 111 BC, titled “On a Corrupt Oligarchy” who opposed and exposed the corruption of the oligarchical party:
“Of mutual trust, or concord, what hope is there? They wish to be lords, you desire to be free; they seek to inflict injury, you to repel it; they treat your allies as enemies, your enemies as allies. With feelings so opposite, can peace of friendship subsist between you? I warn, therefore, and exhort you, not to allow such enormous dishonesty to go unpunished. It is not an embezzlement of the public money that has been committed; nor is it forcible extortion of money from your allies – offenses which, though great, are now, from their frequency, considered as nothing; but the authority of the senate and your own power, have been sacrificed to the bitterest of enemies, and the public interest has been betrayed for money, both at home and abroad; and unless these misdeeds be investigated, and punishment be inflicted on the guilty, what remains for us but to live as slaves of those who committed them? For those who do what they will with impunity are undoubtedly kings” (Amazon Kindle).
The Professor asked Mugwump how he could proceed to prosecute a cartel of Silicon Valley Oligarchs, as Memmius advocated, who had perpetrated mass rebellion and destruction of small business districts when other Silicon Valley financiers and entrepreneurs were now his lieutenant and donors? Had not Mugwump now allowed the fox inside the hen house? After all, it was 25 high tech Silicon Valley corporations that financed BLM and Antifa to destroy small business districts that competed for customer base of the Oligarchs. So, the professor further asked what made Mugwump think he was going to learn in his class about how not to be politically captured by the Fascist corporate donor political class when he had already surrounded himself with his previous captors who had oppressed his working-class supporters? Mugwump was stumped for an answer.
A few proverbs from classical thinkers came to the mind of the professor: “you cannot serve two masters, especially when one elitist master seeks the destruction of the less powerful master. You will either hate one and love the other, or you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and elitist money” (Matthew 6). If you appease the monied they will decimate the “Godders”, to their opportunistic advantage and you will lose your constituency, power and glory. “Any ruler can achieve and maintain power, but a legacy of glory, no matter how much sought, is more elusive and unattainable once one appeases the upper caste of Oligarchs. Moreover, the friendships which we buy at a price, and do not gain by greatness and nobility of character, even when they are fairly bargained for, will fail when we have occasion to use them”.
The professor quickly changed the topic and asked Mugwump what he wanted to eat for lunch, but there was only one choice: artificial plant-based pig meat sandwich on synthetic bread developed by Bill Gates, but still laced with antibiotics.
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