Family Can Be Hard, and That Is Proof ff How Much Family Matters

This week, some of my attention went toward re-building my scamdemic ravaged family.

I have been planning for this week since March — contacting family members and asking them to get this week into their calendars for us to be together.

By practically any measure, our family should have fared better than most.

But the truth is, by every measure we failed, and for three years we have failed.

I hope desperately that my family is below-average in this regard, and that the ways we failed miserably, over and again, for three long years, are not indicative of most American families.

Because if that is not the case, then Covid is so much worse than illness, or communist takeover, or business destroyer. Corona communism succeeded at ripping apart the heart of the most basic social institution, the family.

Wednesday night, I hosted a video call to ask one thing: “How will you be rebuilding family and community in the days and weeks ahead?” I shared what I have been doing and heard from others as well.

If this question is not on your mind, I very much think it must be.

Winning the fight that you already won, and hearing your concession from some boneheaded relative, cannot be your Thanksgiving goal.

You are better. You saw through this. You are an exemplar and capable of moving the hearts of men. You need much more aspirational goals for family time than that.

As far as the mainstream of American society is concerned, the nonsense is behind us. In your life, you can lead. You do not have to lead the entire world. But you are needed to lead the world around you as you know it. It is time to lead.

Your family needs you to lead.

Your community needs you to lead.

The holiday season is gold for building community and for leading.

Americans, often so focussed on themselves, soften up a little and some will even turn their attention to others. It doesn’t have to be another year of “The new normal.” Now is a time to even hang out with that cousin who you can hardly stand.

Wednesday night, during that Project Pureblood call, I made an argument for why, but you do not need all the intricacies of that argument. It is enough to know this: better is needed of you, and today is the day to bring better.

Sometimes the social institution with the greatest ability to create the most rich human connection can be the social institution that can create the most painful division as well.

Too many of us in our disposable era have dispensed cheaply with this.

Too many of us have written off human connections that carry the potential for incredibly rich relationships because they were “uncomfortable” in some way.

That discomfort of family, that ability to get under your skin, is basically the proof, basically the point, that they are such valuable territory for such rich relationships.

Please do not be so weak that you will burn the uncomfortable bridge rather than recognize the potential of the discomfort and persevere through it.

American life once left no other option than to get along with family. Today, many, following less-than-wise counsel, treat family, and other rich relationships, again, as disposable.

It is no surprise to me that so many practitioners of homosexuality that I know, are unlikely to find themselves among family during the holidays, but are likely to surround themselves with people who float in and out of their lives cheaply and whom they call “family.”

Do not follow that model, please.

That model is on the cutting edge of where America is being pushed, both in this regard and in many other regards.

The youthful, adult male serial practitioner of homosexuality is the closest thing to an American cultural exemplar that we have in this era, and that exemplar is unfortunately a very bad one. That is the lifestyle choice, in more than a dozen points of comparison, that American popular culture most pushes us toward. Am I attempting to be hateful of those who practice homosexuality?

No, not particularly, in fact some see through the ruse, and want nothing to do what is above described.

On this Thanksgiving, as you pick a fight about something stupid, rather than look for common ground in a trying relationship, keep in mind the exemplar that you are following, when you do that.

Meanwhile, immigrants that I know, live two, three, and four nuclear families (sometimes more) in the same home, or same building, or same compound, sharing resources, sharing wisdom, building unbreakable bonds, and yes, weathering some prickly parts of those relationships too.

These overcrowded homes are easy for the rest of us to make fun of. The truth is, we can each often learn a lesson from such emphasis on family.

If you are apart from family this holiday season, do your best now to make sure Christmas is different, or that next year is different — even if that means reaching out today to someone who would never in a thousand years expect to hear from you, let alone to hear a kind and cheerful word from you.

The world seeks to leave each one of us isolated and easy-to-destroy individuals. We cannot let that happen. We cannot fall for the ruse.

Part of that is saying “no” to the division and insisting on greater unity, even in the most difficult of times, even in the most uncomfortable of times.

People are tired of the new normal, and need someone like you to step into a new role: a servant leader in the family, a servant leader in the community.

You won the intellectual debates of 2020. They came at great cost. Ten, maybe twenty percent of the public remain true believers. Do you really need the ones closest to you to bend a knee and kiss your ring at Thanksgiving? I ask that you please not make that this day. Go for coffee one day and hash it out for three hours, if that conversation is really that important to you.

Today, let this day be about building the bonds of the family around you, the institution with the richest raw material for human relationship we can have.

I sometimes wish it were easier than it is, but you know what, it isn’t, and that is why some of those truly meaningful relationships are so hard to come by in our era.

Into such a situation is where a leader is needed, and into such a situation can only a leader succeed.

People are tired of the new normal, and need someone like you to step into a new role: a servant leader in the family, a servant leader in the community.

Let me know what you have planned for the weeks ahead in relation to rebuilding your family. I would love to hear about it, and, as always, will read every email. Tell me what your Thanksgiving brought.

I pray blessing, discernment, wisdom over your interactions this day. May your family come away from this day renewed in relationship and bondedness. May every family member of yours come away from this day renewed in relationship, and bondedness, even if that isn’t apparently clear in every example. May seeds be planted this day in your family that will bring abundant bounty in the months and years ahead. May today be for you a day of patience, and a day of planting seeds for a harvest that may take time to reap.

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