Bolton Leads the Way

John Bolton is calling for the quick and opportunistic assassination of Vlad Putin, and as many of his friends as possible.

Too bad we can’t just give John a rifle and send him to the Ukrainian front.  He’s certainly itching to kill, much as he itched for similar murders of Saddam, Iran’s President, Syria’s Assad, Libya’s Gadaffi, or Venezuela’s Maduro, and non-state “enemies” like Julian Assange,and Ed Snowden

Back when he was younger, Bolton was asked by Jon Stewart if there was anyone he wouldn’t bomb, and his answer was well, actually “No!”

Bolton’s a real professional though, and even though he was just telling the truth, he got in trouble recently when he confessed that he has lots of experience in planning and conducting coups abroad, and it’s hard work.

Some people want to assassinate John Bolton, and it makes sense.  A few years ago, Tucker Carlson called him a “bureaucratic tapeworm” a phrase that says a lot, especially when you add in Tucker’s “demented.” Who doesn’t want to get rid of a tapeworm, especially the demented ones?

As a demented bureaucratic tapeworm, Bolton has damaged the United States for many years, and through several administrations.  We have a long list of idiotic, costly and hateful foreign policy disasters as a result of DC’s infectation by the mustachioed mental midget.  This long list of death and disaster is the result of neoconservatives, Straussians, and chicken-hawk interventionists of both parties who use him as “their” mental midget, and those who are just really impressed with his outstanding mental midgetry.

A little ivermectin, maybe some praziquantel, would have come in handy a few decades ago.  Today, it’s as if the mindset of John Bolton has become a part of our American psyche.  Instead of a kindly tapeworm, slightly demented, living in our American gut and rarely impacting us beyond occasional nausea and fatigue, Cestoda boltonia dementum has moved to the ostensible brain of the nation, and is driving us blind, mad, and possibly into a fiery grave.

Confucius said, “The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right name.”  Our country is infected with a brain worm that simplifies the complex and makes us feel safe, moral, and wise all at the same time. All we have to do is kill the leader of our enemy.

Oops – sorry – All we have to do is get “someone” to kill the leader of our enemy.  Whomever John Bolton says it is that day.

I always got in trouble as a mom of four kids because I would say, to no one in particular, “Can somebody help with this or that?” and then complain later because no one ever stepped up.  My husband told me if you want the job done by one of them (or him), you have to call them by name, and tell them what you want them to do.  It was so frustrating.

It is indeed frustrating when you know what needs to be done, you work really hard, and yet only sometimes it gets done, and often it gets done wrong, or at the wrong time, and if it goes right you never get the credit, and if it goes south people are always re-quoting what you said, and sharing your old tweets and such.

Damn.  I think I understand our segmented, demented friend.

Poor John “The Tapeworm” Bolton.  His mafia handle, like his massive dental drapes, really don’t garner the kind of fear and respect that he deserves.  You know it and I know it and Cestoda boltonia dementum knows it. 

Putin, longtime leader of the world’s 11th largest economy, is now graced with a public Bolton death threat, on top of his other problems.  Many Americans are so used to the infection, we just see this as a statement of public policy.  Many students of US intervention will treat it as a sign that this too shall be authorized, and this too, shall come to pass.

If he was anyone else, we’d see a worm that needs to be removed from our system entirely.

If he was anyone else, we’d see a man who does not deserve a public podium.

If he was anyone else, we’d be concerned over his violent words, violent plans, and violent emotions.

If he was anyone else, we’d wonder what kind of medication he’s taking, or not taking, for his narcissistic, arrogant and anti-social behavior.

If he was anyone else, we’d think that he ought to be monitored under DC’s red flag laws.

If he was anyone else, we’d ask why he isn’t in jail for inciting murder.

If he was anyone else, we’d deal with him like any other crazy person who imagines enemies everywhere who must be assassinated, and demands that someone else go do it for him.

But we do none of these things.

Instead, John Bolton has become the very model of a modern American statesman.  Hear, hear!

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